It's Time for a Prank War
by Writer to the Maximum
Summary: Ibuki gets bored and decides to pull a prank. Then, everything kinda spirals out of hand.


It's Time for a Prank War

Hope's Peak was having some financial issues, forcing them to close down half of their dorms. Of course, they simply said that they were being 'remodeled', but nevertheless, the students of the main course were kindly asked to share a room with someone of their same gender, and preferably of the same class.

Despite being 'kindly asked', the pairs were chosen at random. At first, this caused some…complications…such as the second-year student 'Ultimate Lucky Student' not having a roommate. This slot was quickly filled by the other 'Ultimate Lucky Student' when the new class arrived.

Once the students finally accepted the fact of having a roommate, things eventually calmed down.

In fact, it calmed down too much.

Too calm for the Ultimate Light Musician to handle.

"Uuuuuuuh. Mikan-chan. Let's pull a prank."

Tsumiki shuddered at the thought.

"Um…Mioda-san. That may not be a good idea…"

"C'mon! It'll be fun!"

"Uwa! I'm sorry!"

Tsumiki tried to hide her crying face with her arms.

"So you're in?"

"Eh?"

"Yahoo!"

Mioda swiftly turned around to Tsumiki and got close her face.

"Let's do something stealthy."

"…S-Stealthy?"

Mioda nodded furiously.

"Un, un."

"Like w-what?"

Mioda puts her hand to her mouth and giggled. Tsumiki's face contorted in fright.

"I have this all planned out. Hehehe…"

Tsumiki knew something was not right here. She was worried. Worried that Mioda might not like her if she did something wrong, worried that the person they'd prank would hate her forever.

"Wh-Who are we g-going to do it to?"

Mioda placed her index fingers to her temples.

"Hmmmmmmm…Who's Kazuichi-chan rooming with?"

Tsumiki begins to cry.

"I don't know. I'm so sorry!"

"Kazu-chan it is."

"Eh? Why him?"

"His reactions are priceless, trust me."

"S-So…What do you need me t-to do?"

"Break their lock. That's all. I'll do the rest."

"B-Break their l-lock? I'm not su—"

"You only have to distract them! I'll do the rest! C'mon. You got this! Use your looks or something!"

Tsumiki clenched her fists, feeling a bit more enthused.

"Thank you, Mioda-san!"

"I'll be the one thanking you when I see his expression of sheer and utter anger. Don't worry one bit."

Souda returned to his apartment slightly earlier than his usual time of never. Souda would just fall asleep under a car he was working on, losing track of sometimes, that was all. His roommate had the same schedule, so it didn't bother him too much.

He opened the door and sat down on the couch, only to be directly be followed by a knock on the door. Lazily, he stood back up to answer it.

"Yeah, who is—Tsumiki? Do you need something?"

"Umumumumumumumumummmmm…"

"Tsu…Tsumiki? Are you okay?"

Tsumiki burst into tears and ran into the room. Scatterbrained, she beelined it across the room. Souda lead her to the couch and sat her down in an attempt to calm her down.

"What's wrong?"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I must have caught you at a bad time I'm so so so so sorry!"

"No, what is it?"

"Um…Well…It has to do with your diet."

"My…Diet?"

"I noticed that you only eat hamburgers and hot dogs every day. That's not good for you!"

"Huh?"

Souda's face was more confused than concerned. He grew a bit angry.

"I can eat whatever I want!"

Tsumiki's moods turned a 180 once again, and tears spurt from her eyes.

"I'm sorry! Please don't hate me! You should eat whatever you want!"

"Wait a second! I didn't mean it like that!"

Tsumiki looked up at him, sloppily wiping his tears away with her arms and wrists.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. I'll try to eat better. I promise."

Tsumiki began to tear up more, this time, more of joy, standing up in the process.

"No one has ever listened to my advice like this! Thank you so much! Thank you!"

"It's…Nothing."

Tsumiki ushered herself out, tears spilling out everywhere.

"God, what was that about?"

It was the crack of dawn and blaring music erupted from Souda's alarm. Lazily, he slammed his hand on it to shut it up.

"Pssssssssswoot…"

His roommate angrily sits up in the other bed adjacent to Souda's.

"Souda. You finally spend the night here, and the first thing you do is fucking fart?!"

"I didn't fart!"

"Then what was that!?"

"Someone put a whoopie cushion on my alarm!"

"Who the hell would go into our room just to put a whoopie cushion on your alarm!?"

"I dunno'! Saionji."

"…Good point."

Souda stretched and placed his feet on the floor.

"Pssssssssswoot…"

"Okay, Souda. This isn't funny. Nobody's laughing."

"I told you, I'm not farting!"

"Pssssssssswoot…"

His roommate's face was mortified with a fervent hate.

"See! What did I say, Kuzuryuu?"

Kuzuryuu clenched his fists, his expression turned into a shadowy abyss.

"If I find whoever the fuck did this, I will rip their guts out."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kuzuryuu! Calm down it isn't that—"

As he was talking, he sat down onto a chair. The chair, being adjustable, sunk down with his weight, pushing down the valve of an air horn.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOO—"

Souda stood up, his face very much like Kuzuryuu's.

"You said we're going to rip their guts out? Let's do this."

Souda and Kuzuryuu proceeded to find whoopie cushions and air horns scattered around the two rooms that made up their dormroom. When Souda turned on the TV, blaring music erupted from the speakers so loud, they broke. Luckily, Souda was the one to turn them on, so he was able to fix them within a couple minutes.

Kuzuryuu and Souda finally defused all the air horns and whoopie cushions (some were hidden rather well), leaving them severely annoyed.

"So what do we do to her?"

"To who?"  
"Saionji."  
"Well, we could punch her."

"Rip her guts out."  
"Yeah, that too."

"Nah. Let's get our revenge another way."

"What are you suggesting, Souda?"  
"We fight fire with fire."  
"Prank her back?"

"Duh. It's only the right thing to do."

Saionji was in the bathroom when she heard something buzzing around her room. She was having difficulties putting her kimono on. She had been able to do it the day before, why not now? She was relieved to hear her roommate open the door.

"Nanami-onee! Can you-"

She heard a scream. A man's scream, of all things. Saionji sloppily wrapped the belt of her kimono around her waist and jumped out into the main room to see what all this yelling was about. And possibly make fun of whoever just screamed.

Saionji was not expecting to be the next one to scream.

Rats. Rats were everywhere. Hairy, smelly, disgusting, foul rats. Her room, covered in them.

"EEEEEEEEKKKK!"

Nanami bent down and picked one up.

"These are made of plastic."

Saionji calmed down some.

"...Plastic?"  
"Yeah, they're toys. I think."  
"You...Think."

The boy standing in the entrance to the living room finally got the courage to take a step forwards and examine the rats for himself.

"Hey, these are just made of plastic."

"Ew, Nanami-onee, I thought I told you to stop bringing your disgusting Reserve Course boyfriend here."

Hinata was offended. Nanami puffed her cheeks.

"He's not a Reserve Course student anymore."

"And she's not my girlfriend."

"Still grosses me out."

"More than these rats?"

Saionji was suddenly reminded of the robotic rats that would ram their heads into the sofa and other furniture. One of them got stuck in her half-tied kimono, dragging it down. Nanami and Hinata were forced to run over to her and get the toy unattached to her clothing. Hinata pulled at the rat while Nanami held Saionji down so that she wouldn't freak out.

This ended up with a tearful Saionji, a bashful Hinata, and a tired Nanami.

So, your usual combo.

After Saionji made Nanami retie the kimono (forcing Hinata to be blindfolded throughout the affair), they got a trash bag and cleaned up all the rats. It went rather slowly, considering that there were three of them.

"Ugh. That took way too long. Nanami-san?"

She was snoring, standing up.

"Hey!"

Saionji pouted.

"We should get them back."

"Get them back?"

"Yeah. They prank us, we prank them. It's simple logic, dipshit."

Hinata was offended, again. This seems to be a trend.

He decided to move on with his life, and not feed the troll.

"But who'd do something like this?"

"Well, judging from the rats, I'd say Tanaka-san."

"Wouldn't he, ya know, use real rats?"

"He's a breeder. That'd be mistreatment to animals."

"He should go squish some Mr. Ants. Then he'd be a bit more relaxed about that kind of stuff."

Hinata and Nanami decided to let that comment slide.

In the end, they finally agree on something fun that all three of them can partake in. Nanami was in because it was fun, like a game. Hinata was in because he had nothing better to do. Saionji was in because she liked pranks anyways. It was the perfect combination for the perfect prank.

Gundham had just finished a rough day of 'governing his kingdom' (making animals mate with each other) and 'entertaining a being from the heavens' (Sonia). He was ready to go back to his 'Royal Palace' (his room) to 'cleanse himself of the foul stench of rotting human souls' (take a shower because he smelled like hamster shit).

In order to get to that very 'Royal Palace' he must go up an elevator. Pressing a button as dramatically as one might expect Gundham to, Gundham muttered some kind of curse under his breath. When the doors were about to he shouted some other kind of curse.

He had forgotten his sunflower seeds in the classroom. Chisa had yelled at him, but he still brought them anyways. Immediately, he ran back to go get them.

He ran past two boys who were on their way back to their room.

"Tanaka-kun?"

"Now! I must go!"

Gundham kept running past the boys, leaving them very confused.

"Komaeda-kun. Do you know who that was?"

"Ah right. Naegi-kun. You haven't met many of the second-years yet, right?"

Naegi shook his head.

"That was Tanaka Gundham. He's an…interesting person. You'll learn how to deal with him."

"Deal with him? That doesn't sound promising."

Naegi sighed and pressed the button for the elevator. When the doors opened, he screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Gushing with pink juices was a girl. Dead, body torn in half. Blonde, one giant silky ponytail dyed a shade similar to that of diarrhea medication.

One's only reaction would be to scream.

Suddenly, her eyes burst open and she charged forwards at the two boys. Naegi's face contorted into all sorts of ways and bolted back where they came, Komaeda shortly following after him.

Naegi suddenly stopped, his shoes skidding across the smooth flooring.

"What is it, Naegi-kun?"

Naegi lifted his finger up slowly, shaking. A faint shadow loomed in the distance. Slowly, it took steps closer and closer, filling the gap between the two boys and whatever the shadow may have been.

"Ah. It's Hinata-k...un…"

Komaeda blinked for a second. Hinata's face seemed to have been rotten away, similar to that of a zombie. Hinata stood there for a second, examining the two boys, one frightened out of their minds, clinging to the other, who was rather calm. Hinata turned around.

 _Nope. I'm out._

He just walked away.

Very confused, Naegi looked up at Komaeda.

"Um...What was that?"

"That was-"

"Boo!"

Komaeda and Naegi both let out screams and fell onto the floor. It was Nanami. She giggled a bit.

"Did I scare you?"

Komaeda laughed and sat up.

"Not at all! In fact, I was admiring your ability to work with Saionji-san so well. Two Ultimates working together inspires me to work even harder."

"Um...Komaeda-kun...What about that other guy?"  
Komaeda's expression vanished.

"What about him?"  
Nanami spoke up.

"Ah, that must have been Hinata-kun. He's my friend. Hopefully, he played his part. I was here for the jumpscare. Those always shock people!"  
She seemed almost too sure of herself.

Saionji walked up right next to Nanami. She was still covered head-to-toe in pink liquid. She seemed to be smiling happily, until she pointed her finger and scowled.

"Hah! I scared you two losers so bad. You," she pointed at Naegi, "screamed just like a little girl. You're so short anyways. How old are you? Twelve?"

"Saionji-san. If I remember correctly, you were much shorter at the beginning of last year, right?"

She winced at that comment.

"You disgust me."

"Of course I should! Trash like me-"

Words stopped being spewn out of his mouth. It appeared as if he had been elbowed in the stomach.

"I'm...Sorry…"  
Naegi continued the conversation.  
"So you three decided to _prank_ us?"

"Well, we were trying to get Tanaka-san."  
"...Why?"

"He put gross rats in our room!"  
"A prank deserves a prank in return."  
Komaeda put a hand to his chin.

"Hm...That's interesting. I was walking in the halls the other day, and I heard Souda-kun and Kuzuryuu-kun's speakers blow up. They must have been pranked, too. Are you sure it wasn't them?"

"Are you suggesting that this was a chain-reaction?"

"Exactly." Komaeda thought about something. "That means that it's our turn to plan a prank."

Saionji was confused.

"I don't think you're supposed to tell the person you're going to prank them. Did your mother drop you one too many times?"

"Actually, tell everyone you can. I think they'll enjoy it more if they know it's coming. Isn't that right, Naegi-kun?"

Naegi smiled awkwardly. He had absolutely no idea what Komaeda was talking about, until Komaeda leaned down and whispered something into Naegi's ear. Naegi's eyes lit up, fully understanding the situation.

"Oh. I get it. Yeah, this kind of prank works best if everybody knows about it."

Nanami and Saionji gave each other odd looks. What were they talking about? What was this genius prank? Knowing what Komaeda was capable of, nothing would seem out of place. What have they done?

What have they done?

Over the next couple days, everybody was pranking everybody. It spread like fire in an open field. Someone had placed hundreds of water cups in the hallways of the boys' dorm, forcing them to find a way not to cause a domino effect. After much anguish, the effect was caused, and everyone was doused in some good ol' H2O. To make matters worse, later that day, someone had hacked everyone's e-mails, sending and receiving mass quantities of spam and misinformation from and to each other.

Things got to the point that they had to get head of security, Juzo Sakakura, onto the scene.

He stormed into the boys' dorm first. There were people everywhere, doing all kinds of things

"All of you! Stop!"

Most everyone stopped the moment they heard his voice. They either looked ashamed or nervous.

"If you don't stop this stupidity, I will evict all of-"

Leon threw a water balloon right at the back of his head. It doused that gray hair so that it turned to a slightly bright shade of black. Sakakura's purple eyes lost their color for just a second.

Then, it seemed like the water on his head began to turn to steam and his eyes seemed to glare on fire when he whipped around to the assailant.

"Sorry?"  
Sakakura cracked his knuckles.

"Sorry won't cut it, buddy."  
What followed shortly after was more chaos. Well, exactly what had been occurring until Sakakura had shown up. Now, Sakakura was included in that chaos. All of this nearly stopped for a second time until Komaeda and his roommate exited their rooms.

Everyone had heard about it.

The two lucky students and their prank.

Their Ultimate, Super Duper Highschool Level Prank.

It was said to be so elaborate, so elusive, so utterly stunning that no one would even see their prank if it hit them right in the eye.

The second-years knew what Komaeda was capable of, and the first-years had heard about his exploits. Everyone was scared shitless about what someone like him could do if he were serious. They wanted to find the prank first. They wanted to be the ones to thwart it.

Komaeda smiled.

"Hm? Is something wrong? I don't deserve all this attention."

Everyone kept staring. Nobody wanted to ask. Nobody wanted to be the one.

"Oh, if you're worried about our prank, don't be. It's rather subtle."

The only response was blank eyes.

"Ah, so you want a hint! Hm... It's in the last place you'd look. I don't actually know why anyone would seriously look there for something like this."

All hell broke loose for the final time, and the hunt began. They searched everywhere. They searched the gym, inside the piano, in Sakakura's closet, in the headmaster's quarters (Jin kicked them out in a couple seconds).

They searched so hard and so long, they were forced to rely upon one individual: Kyoko Kirigiri.

She found nothing.

The _Ultimate Detective_ found _absolutely nothing_.

Everyone wanted to know.

Everyone _had_ to know.

What was the prank?

What had Komaeda been hiding from them all this time?

"Ah, Naegi-kun. You can tell them if you'd like. I mean, you've kept it a secret this entire time. I have to respect such a strong Hope that must have taken. After all, my reward from this was seeing all the Ultimates work together to solve the riddle of my prank. I'm sure they'll be angry when they hear the answer. Leave it up to Ultimates to overthink it."

Everyone in the room was eerily silent.

"Um...Well..." Naegi took a deep breath. "It's the biggest prank of them all."

"Just say it already!", someone shouted.

"Alright, alright. There was no prank."


End file.
